Hey, Eric here...Ericka just told me about this blog stuff like last week, so im kinda new to it, she wants me to post on her site so i guess i better say something....wow... im kind of overwelmed by all these trent reznor and marilyn manson quotes...but i guess if i had my own then i would probably have a bunch of AFI quotes so ...yeah..anyways...something to say...um...
ok...starting over with something important to say:
i guess that ill just recap some of the crap that has happened to me over the past month...
my water polo career ended at the beginning of November with a victory, yet i didnt feel all too happy about it...maybe it was because with my uncle coaching i didnt really have fun playing water polo like i used to. the reason for this is because my relationship with my uncle has turned to crap due to some events during the season that pretty much killed any relationship we might have had. Oh well.
another little anecdote...(god, i have a sick sense of humor...my cousin says that im just jaded...maybe that's it) while my sister was on the home IV treatment, my mom found that there were a number of parallel slashes on her wrists...my mom then found out that my sister had been slashing her wrists in the bathroom with the door locked. She said that it helped her to deal with the pain (incase any readers arent aware: my sister has a life threatening disease called Cystic Fibrosis, which is a genetic disorder that causes alot of damage to the lungs and causes severe mal nutrition...i dont feel like going into the details...if u want to learn further look it up on the net...any how.. with this disease comes a life expectancy of about 22 years. pretty shitty.) of being sick and living with my dad (another deteur...my dad has been an alcoholic for as long as i can remember and that has made our family completely dysfunctional. It has also shaped the person who i am and whether that has been good or bad i cant tell...maybe someone else can help me out on this...am i a good person? anyways back to the b.s.). well this knowledge completely turned my world inside out and upside down and any other way you can think of...because i had thought that even with all of the crap that my family had gone through we were strong and immune to that kind of shit you know? I felt like crap like this only happened in those Lifetime movies or something... but i guess i was wrong...now my sister will probably be put back on prosac (a depression med) again, yet i dont see how some chemical imbalance can affect a person so greatly...i feel that humans can deal with their problems mentally not chemically...maybe im wrong..
oh by the way...my family doctor feels that our whole family should be on depression meds and have a regular counseling session...what a crock of crap, of course im depressed...who wouldnt be in my situation? but i can deal with it...i mean seriously, i dont think that any of my friends would know that i was depressed or anything unless i told them about my family life...
But now after this last thing with my sister, i feel like i cant keep up the mask of normalcy and happiness for long...i have learned that my will isnt forged of iron and that it can give...i am weak and i just dont care anymore maybe it will be better if people know more about my life...i dont know...
well, i wrote something meaningful for ericka's blog...got to go
lates