People are full of shit, that's all there is to it

people say they dont want to hurt anyone, this just doesnt work, you cant make everyone happy so at some point in time you have to hurt someone, all you have to do is choose. will it be this person or that person? even if no one deserves it it is boundto happen. sitting here waiting for someone to decide can be nerve rasking, so i might just have to take matters into my own hands, even though i dont want to cause then ill just be hurting myself while everyone makes away all happy and whatnot. now thats not really fair is it? its never really my time, hasnt been for a while, i just got too excited and gave too much of myself, did things iv never done before, took control thinking this is how things get done, man was i wrong, just ended up hurting myself. on a lighter note my whole house is clean i even vacumed and swept. god what the hell is wrong with me, i thought i was done feeling like this when i got that disease out of my life, but i guess it never really leaves
words of wisdom: isolate and save you from yourself

the trouble with people is that no one is perfect. they can be really close but there is always that one thing that makes you think great...this is no good. but the more i think about it the more i say to myself why am i even expecting someone to be perfect when im not either. i can deal with one or two things, even more if i like the person enough. but even if things dont go my way im doing better, im actually going out, trying to have fun with people....iv never been so happy but at the same time iv never been so stressed. the stress i cause my self, filling my mind with what ifs, thats all i seem to do, i sit with a smile on my face for hours then it turns to doubt. i thought i was done with feeling i wasnt good enough for someone, i am, and people will one day understand. but as anyone who knows me well knows that i hate being ignored, it has to do with respect and just the thought that im not worth your time. if i knew people were busy well then cool i understand, im the queen of busy, but you know, say something... but back to the smiles, i like being able to smile during chemistry hehe, anything to take my mind off my crazy life
words of wisdom: i will never hurt you